Edited by Lori Appling in Bethany Beach, DE

I hope you had a great week.

Here's your first issue of The Write Way to Travel, our new newsletter devoted to helping you improve your travel writing.

I've included below an article from Jen Stevens, who designed our written travel writer course and our live workshops. It's about how you can avoid what she calls "the number 1 pit new travel writers fall into." I think you'll find her advice helpful.

Have a good weekend!

Lori

P.S. By the way, I'll be in Las Vegas next week January 22-25 with Jen, John Forde, and Steenie Harvey -- our core Travel Writer crew -- to teach our first-ever stateside Travel Writer workshop. Seats are all sold out but I'll send you details about our next event as well as information on how you can get a hold of recordings of this one and the surprise little bonuses our attendees don't even know they're about to get in an upcoming issue.

I'll be in touch. Here's your first issue of The Write Way to Travel…

Today:

• Can you write a simple letter?
• Move over!!
• A quick note before we kick-off this e-letter series for travel writers

Can You Write A Simple Letter?

If yes, you could be in big demand, earning big money, writing just a few hours a day from anywhere in the world you choose to be. Here's how you can learn the secrets of this little-known, lucrative business:

http://www.thewriterslife.com/bb/tw

MOVE OVER!!
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE WAY WHEN YOU'RE
TELLING YOUR OWN STORY

By Jennifer Stevens in Chicago, IL

Too much "I" and "we" -- the most common mistake I see in articles by new travel writers. It's not that you shouldn't tell your own story from your point of view. Successful travel writers do that regularly. In last Sunday's Travel section of the New York Times, for instance, six of the seven feature articles are told in the first person, that is, using "I" and "we."

But those seasoned writers practice something budding writers don't always: restraint.

Less About You, More About What You See and Do

Imagine you're a real estate broker showing a house. While you'd certainly want to call a potential buyer's attention to the view through the front window or to the brand new appliances in the kitchen, you wouldn't walk backwards 1.5 feet in front of him into every room in the house and keep insisting he talk to you.

You'd let the house show itself. You might trail along at a respectful distance and suggest he take a look at how big the closets are or tell him to pop his head into the attic, which would make a perfect boy's room.

But really, you'd stay out of the way and let the house -- cast in the positive light you'd throw -- sell itself.

Now do that when you write. Allow your reader to appreciate a place as you see it. But don't stand in front of him, block his view, and then simply tell him what it is you see.

Example 1 -- Too Much "I" and "We" is Distracting

Here, the reader doesn't see the place. He sees the writer and his companion in the place:

When we arrived at the site for the glacier ride, it was raining. We wondered if we would be able to see anything. We climbed into the helicopter, fastened our seat belts and off we went soaring high into the clouds. The ride was as smooth as silk. We rose from sea level to alpine ridges in a matter of seconds. The rain didn't prevent us from viewing this incredible journey beyond civilization. We flew over deep crevasses and around jagged spires. Our pilot described our glacial journey through individual headsets that we wore.

Finally, we landed on Mendenhall Glacier and had the opportunity to explore this unique environment. Expert guides were waiting for us on the glacier in a white tent with an American flag next to it. We felt like we had landed on the moon when we took our first steps on the uneven terrain with its rocky crevasses and aqua surface pools of water. We were dazzled by the bright blue color of the glacier. Our guides also provided us with raincoats to protect us from the rain as we walked on the glacier. We also received special boots. Our guides explained that the glacier moves two feet each day, but we couldn't detect any movement as we walked on its surface. The Mendenhall Glacier Helicopter Tour was an experience of a lifetime and we would highly recommend it if you travel to Alaska.

Example 2 -- An Improved Version:
The Writer Gets Out of the Way

This revised version is better. The author still tells the story... but he gets out of the way so the reader can see what he's talking about.

Rain poured down as we climbed into the helicopter for the glacier ride, and we wondered if it would hinder the views. But smooth as silk, the helicopter rose from sea level to alpine ridges in a matter of seconds to reveal a dramatic display of the icy landscape's deep crevasses and jagged spires. Along the way, the pilot pointed out things to look for and offered interesting tidbits about the region.

On Mendenhall Glacier, expert guides waited in a white tent, an American flag planted to its side. It might as well have been an outpost on another planet. A dazzling blue, the glacier's terrain is uneven, with rocky crevasses and aqua pools of water on the surface.

Nevertheless, we walked -- protected by raincoats and special boots we'd been issued in the tent. The glacier moves two feet a day, but its progress is too slow to notice on the surface.

Four Ways to Get Out of the Way When You Tell Your Story

Practically speaking, here are four things you can do to ensure that you're telling a travel story readers will envy, a story more about journey and place than about you:

1. Avoid recounting your every thought and reaction. (You still make judgments and offer opinions, but let them stand on their own. Give them their own authority.)

Instead of: "The high, four-poster bed piled with a feather-filled comforter and soft pillows covered in rich fabrics -- large and square, small and round -- made me feel like a queen."

Say: "The high, four-poster bed piled with a feather-filled comforter and soft pillows covered in rich fabrics -- large and square, small and round -- was fit for a queen."

2. Go easy on "me" phrases.

Instead of: "The bartender told me it had been the quietest season he'd experienced in the last decade."

Say: "The bartender said it had been the quietest season he'd experienced in the last decade."

3. Try not to use "I," "me," "we," or "us" more than once or twice per paragraph. (This is by no means a rule set in stone. But if you use it as a guideline, you'll force yourself to cut back to such an extent that you'll naturally get out of the way of your story.)

4. Turn to "you" when you're looking for a fix. (In other words, think about what your reader would want.)

Instead of: "We discovered that with another meal plan we could have dined at five other nearby restaurants, to which Round Hill would arrange transportation."

Say: "Another meal plan allows you to dine at five other nearby restaurants, for which Round Hill can arrange transportation."

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WELCOME — AND INTRODUCTIONS

By Lori Appling 1/16/04

I hope you've enjoyed the first issue of our new weekly travel letter, "The Write Way to Travel." Each week we'll deliver useful advice about how you can explore the world and sell the story.

I thought to take a moment here before signing off to introduce our cast of characters -- the contributors you'll hear from in the weeks and months ahead. Among them:

• Steenie Harvey is a well-traveled, prolific, and highly successful freelance travel writer who's seen her articles published in The Washington Post and The Daily Telegraph among many other top-notch publications in the States, Ireland, Britain, Australia, and Germany. She's currently International Living's roving editor in Europe. You'll find her advice about the practicalities of getting published invaluable -- and funny, too.
• Rose Burke, who's career in journalism began in the U.S. with Dow Jones newswires and the Wall Street Journal is today based in Paris as a freelancer for that publication, The International Herald Tribune, and others. She knows her stuff, and she'll share the many tricks of the trade she's learned over the years.
• John Forde is a copywriter and travel writer -- also based in Paris -- who will enlighten you from time to time with his insights about writing persuasively, for instance, (after all, you want your reader to be enticed by the adventures your articles describe).
• Jen Stevens, the author of this week's article and the architect, as I said earlier, of our written and live travel writer programs was for many years the editor at International Living and Island Properties Report. She's got a knack for identifying what works (and what doesn't) in travel articles -- and making sure you know the difference.

Also, I wanted to let you know that we're putting together a special package about travel writing that's like nothing else out there. We're recording our Ultimate Travel Writer's Workshop in Las Vegas next week, and we'll be making the content available to you. It'll be the next-best-thing to being there.

In fact, the package will include not just three days of travel writing secrets revealed by the experts, but also bonus material including a series of Special Reports like Rose Burke's trusted research techniques, a complete guide to imagining stories that sell every time, plus a proprietary list of contact information for editors we've been in touch with - editors willing to work with novice writers and happy to receive article queries from you.

I'll send along all the details in the next few weeks. I hope you've enjoyed your first issue.

More next week.

Take care,

Lori