Edited by Lori Appling in Bethany Beach, DE

"I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter."
-- Blaise Pascal

TODAY:

• Less is More -- Confessions of a Word-a-holic
• Meet Randy Curwin, Travel Editor for the Chicago Tribune
• Are You Good At Persuading People?
• This Week's Featured Travel Publication: JourneyWoman
• More Opportunities and Resources for Writers

Imagine A SUMMER OF TRAVEL... FREE.

What's more, you'll earn a few hundred... maybe even a few thousand… dollars for your trouble. Sound too good to be true?

Well, that's exactly how retired television executive Duane Harm and his wife Harlene spent the summer of 2002 -- traveling across the western U.S. All told, they visited 23 different dude ranches in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana over a three-month period, staying for free an average of three days at each ranch. The total value of their summer stays? About $55,000… and they didn't pay anything. Not one cent.

What's more, they wrote an article for Steamboat Magazine, a high-end coffee-table publication based in Steamboat Springs, CO that comes out twice a year. And they were paid for their work. Here's more: http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/workshop/bb

Dear Reader,

Sometimes -- and pardon me if I'm pointing right at you when I say this -- I get travel articles on my desk that make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

It's not that the subject matter is so bad. On the contrary. the things the author has chosen to write about are often quite good (I'm normally reading articles submitted by students of our Passport to Romance: The Ultimate Travel Writer's Course http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/sh/tw4). It's just that sometimes as I read long along, I'll get fully engaged in the story, and then all of a sudden I'll get a sentence like this:

"If Charente is not as spectacular as the Dordogne, it's just as green, and peace just oozes out of the rolling hills, and valleys planted with purple vines, or filled with grazing russet cattle like something out of one of those bucolic scenes that eighteenth-century landscapes artists loved to paint."

Wow. I feel like someone dropped a wet paint palette on my lap. It's just too much. The writer crammed too many ideas between that initial "If" and the period that arrives, mercifully, 50 words later. The intentions were good. But that sort of rambling won't cut it with an editor.

Most editors prefer shorter sentences. And sentences that stick to one idea each.

A related crime I see budding writers commit is one I've dubbed "unrelated overload." That's when it's not just a sentence or two that goes awry - but whole paragraphs, sometimes whole pages.

For example, I'll be reading an article about a B&B, and all of a sudden I'll find myself deep into a four-paragraph detour about how the local bee-keepers make their signature honey. How did that happen?

Sure, the mind -- and plenty of real-life conversations -- go off on tangents and reel in lots of irrelevant ideas. But editors don't have time for that. One irrelevant paragraph after another just reveals that the writer merely typed up everything that popped into his or her head and paid little attention to that critical issue of the "main idea."

It's a sign of laziness. And editors don't like lazy writers.

For any article you write, you want to have a "main idea," the one thing you really want your reader to come away believing. Read your first draft with an eye to that. and then cut out anything that doesn't serve that idea.

On this subject, I'm including an essay below from writer John Forde. He offers some sound advice about staying "on subject" when you write and three practical tips to help you trim the fat in your articles. But he does it in an interesting way. by opening with a personal and revealing "confession." Read below and you'll see what I mean.

However, before I leave you to John's essay, I wanted to fill you in on the latest news about our upcoming travel writer's workshop in Chicago, June 17-20. These workshops really are special events we look forward to and plan for all year. With each subsequent one, we make improvements and revisions to the program.

This time, we're pleased to have Randy Curwin from the Chicago Tribune coming by to answer a few questions and tell us a little about his work and about his experiences working with freelancers. Jennifer Stevens, Steenie Harvey, and John Forde will be there too.

You know, it's just not possible to beat the in-person, in-the-trenches advice and guidance you get from the working, professional writers who lead and speak at our workshops. As one past participant put it: "I am somewhat astonished by their generosity in imparting their hard-earned knowledge."

If you're interested in joining us in Chicago, don't delay any further in signing up. The workshop starts this coming Thursday, just a handful of seats remain, and we always sell out. For details about the program: http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/workshop/bb

Take care,

Lori
Director, AWAI's Travel Writer Program

P.S. Know a friend or two who'd enjoy the freedom and independence of a writer's life? They, too, can sign up to receive this free e-letter weekly at: http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/eletter

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LESS IS MORE CONFESSIONS OF A WORD-A-HOLIC: By Freelance Writer/Copywriter, John Forde in Paris, France

My name is John . and I'm a word-a-holic.

There, I've said it.

Yes, that's right. I often over-write.

I can't help myself. I love words. I love ideas. I love the way each leads into another like a jazz improvisation. I'm addicted to irony. Doped up on metaphors. Drunk on detail.

Where some use language like stepping stones in a river, I prefer to plunge in and get soaked.

Where some use analogies like nails to hang a tapestry, I take the tapestry itself apart and count the threads .

Where some dig into a story like a Californian picking sprouts from a salad, I dive in like a fat man locked up all night in a doughnut shop .

Sigh. See what I mean?

Don't get me wrong. So far, I've been pretty happy as an over-writer. When I'm at my keyboard, the time flies by as if it were nothing.

More than once, I've written straight through the night. Through the incessant chirping of birds at dawn. Through the buzz of the alarm clock. Even through pot after pot of burned coffee.

I've cranked out 25 pages in half as many hours. I've written e-mails big enough to shut down computers at the Pentagon . short stories longer than most novels . and direct-mail packages as thick as a phone book.

Every year, I am personally petitioned by Tree Huggers of America to please . please . PLEASE . just stop.

What's more, my over-writing has had -- despite all predictions to the contrary -- some pay off. I've won a couple of small writing awards. I've made a pretty nice living. I've sold several million dollars worth of products for my employer. And, friend, you can't imagine what it's done for my typing skills.

But at what cost? It's hard to say.

Have you ever found yourself and your ideas swerving across the page like a car without brakes? Like a bus driver who's had too much cough syrup? Like a groom at a wedding who's forgotten to put on his pants?

Few people over-write as much as I do. But if you suspect that maybe . just maybe . you too might get sentimental over words and ideas that are better left behind, I invite you to join me in an ongoing campaign of self-improvement.

Under-writers, don't despair. The challenge presented by a blank page is the same as you'll find in an over-written one: Eliminate the ideas that don't sell. Find the one that does. Focus on supporting it.

Friend and copywriting mentor, Michael Masterson, put it this way:

[continued below]

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"In writing, less is more. One good idea persuasively articulated will do much more work then 10 ideas cobbled together.

"Forget about all the nuances, the exceptions, the ironies, and the parallels. Identify the idea that people will get excited by. State it strongly, simply, and immediately. Then prove it 16 ways till sundown.

"After you've finished, put the manuscript down and let it rest. Then go back at it and cut out everything that doesn't sell that one idea. Be ruthless. The result will be much stronger, faster, more readable copy."

Let's consider that our locker-room speech.

Given the message, I should stop here.

But I happened to come across a copy of "Hemingway on Writing" yesterday. As I'm sure you know, Hemingway had a style concise writers everywhere admire. He recommended that same virtue of austerity to others in his life who cared about writing. For instance...

In a letter to editor Maxwell Perkins, Hem wrote:

"Eschew the monumental. Shun the epic. All the guys who can paint great big pictures can paint great small ones."

And in another letter to Max:

"My temptation is always to write too much . [but] guys who think they are geniuses because they've never learned to say no to a typewriter are a common phenomenon."

To George Plimpton, who was conducting an interview for the Paris Review, Hemingway said:

"The knowledge I leave out of a story is like the underwater part of an iceberg ."

And last, again in another letter to Max, he wrote:

"Writing is a hard business, Max. But nothing makes you feel better."

So right, isn't it? Hard work, but when you get it right it's worth the effort. That said, I'd be remiss if I didn't leave you with a few practical tips.

So here they are: "3 Ways to Write Better with Less":

[continued below]

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3 WAYS TO WRITE BETTER WITH LESS
(from the bible of concise writing, Strunk & White's "Elements of Style")

1. Choose a structure and stick to it.

"Writing, to be effective, must follow closely the thoughts of the writer, but not necessarily in the order in which they occur."

We all claim to use an outline . but do we? If you don't, try it.

2. Omit needless words.

"A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason a drawing should contain no unnecessary lines ."

Enough said.

Strunk's example: "Used for fuel purposes" is weaker than "used for fuel."

3. Use the active voice.

"The active voice is more vigorous and direct than the passive."

Strunk's example: "My visit to Boston shall always be remembered by me" is weaker than "I'll always remember my visit to Boston."

You can find "Elements of Style" at any bookstore, along with many other good books to help you re-visit writing fundamentals (which even seasoned writers should do). Another great one, believe it or not, is "Stephen King on Writing."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Students of Passport to Romance: The Ultimate Travel Writer's Course (http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/sh/tw4) would do well to revisit the 10 Fundamentals of Good Writing and their exercises inside the course book.]

[John Forde works primarily as a copywriter and writes travel on the side. He began his copywriting career training under Bill Bonner and Michael Masterson. In the eight years since, he has written several million-dollar controls, many of which have been translated and successfully mailed to the French, German, and online markets. He has also served as Senior Copywriter and Group Publisher for Agora Publishing, and has trained apprentice copywriters in London, Paris, Bonn, Florida and Baltimore. He now lives and works in Paris. You can meet John in person this June 17-20 when he'll be on-hand in Chicago to teach at our Ultimate Travel Writer's Workshop: http://www.thetravelwriterslife.com/workshop/bb

THIS WEEK'S FEATURED TRAVEL PUBLICATION: JourneyWoman

JourneyWoman is an online travel publication that caters to women travelers. Departments include Traveling with children, traveling single mothers, top ten lists, outdoor adventures and more. Articles typically run 900 words plus sidebars. Submissions and queries should be sent to editor@journeywoman.com in the body of the email.no attachments. Find out more at http://www.journeywoman.com/writers_guidelines.html.

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The Write Way to Travel is a FREE weekly newsletter from the American Writers & Artists Institute, available to AWAI students and friends.

© 2004 American Writers & Artists Institute

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